Steps to help keep our kids safe, happy, and connected within our own families
By: Dr. Christine Powell, ADHD Coach & Executive Functioning Specialist
🧩Raising children has never been easy, but the digital age adds a layer of complexity that no previous generation has had to navigate. If you feel overwhelmed by the messages of caution & shifting landscape, please know that you are not alone. While headlines often focus on strict government bans in places like Australia and France, the heart of the matter for most of us is much closer to home: How do we keep our kids safe, happy, and connected within our own families?
The move toward better boundaries isn’t just about control; it’s about understanding how our children grow. Brain research gives us helpful insights into “sensitivity windows”, which are critical periods in adolescence, often around ages 11 — 13 for girls and 14 — 15 for boys. During these years, the brain is incredibly sensitive to social feedback. A “like” can feel like a lifeline, social media feels like connection and silence can feel devastating. This isn’t a character flaw; it’s brain biology. However, because heavy social media use can impact their mental health during these fragile years, stepping in is actually an act of protection, not punishment.
Here are four concrete ways to build a healthier digital home environment:
Create a Sanctuary for Sleep: One of the most effective places to start is the bedroom. Research consistently shows that sleep is a major buffer against anxiety, yet it’s the first thing to suffer when a phone is on the nightstand. Instead of viewing it as a punishment, try establishing a “docking station” in a common area, like the kitchen counter , where all family devices go to charge at a specific time each evening. By keeping devices out of the bedroom entirely, you remove the late-night temptation to scroll, helping your child’s brain wind down naturally. 2. Focus on “Connection Zones” : Beyond bedtime, try to focus on where connection is prioritized rather than just where phones are banned. Mealtimes are the perfect place to start. When you make the dinner table a device-free space, you aren’t just taking away a screen; you are creating an invitation to talk, laugh, and make eye contact. This simple boundary models the vital lesson that the people right in front of us matter more than the notifications in our pockets.
3. Shift from “Banning” to “Training” : I recently learned about a concept from the “French Model” of digital parenting, which treats early adolescence as a protected training period. Much like learning to drive, kids need training before they hit the open road, much like a driving permit. When you frame limits as necessary practice rather than arbitrary rules, kids are often less defensive. Have open conversations about why you are setting these limits & explain that apps are designed to keep them scrolling and that you want to help them protect their time, focus & brain health!
4. Be the Role Model You Want Them to See: Finally, remember that the most powerful tool you have is your own behavior. Our children are constantly watching us. If we want them to look up from their screens, we have to look up from ours. If you are checking emails during family movie night, they absorb that as the norm. Let them see you enjoying offline hobbies, like reading, gardening, or just connecting with yourself and others. When you prioritize real-world experiences, you prove to them that life off-screen is vibrant, fulfilling, and worth their attention.
The Bottom Line is that limiting something our kids have already been hooked on can be challenging. By proactively setting boundaries, you are doing more than just limiting screen time. You are cultivating resilience, attention, and genuine family connection. You are empowering your children to use technology as a tool, rather than letting it use them.
If you found this helpful, please share it with someone who may benefit.
Dr. Christine Powell🧩
